'Cause It's Not Easy

It's hard making new friends really. Even at twenty-five; I actually think it's harder as you get older. As you grow with each relationship, so do your expectations of what you want in future ones.

For me, all I ever wanted was a friend who I could laugh with and share all my secrets with. Never to feel like if I told my personal thoughts that I might be rejected because of them. Someone to trust with my heart for a little while.

I've had friends like that come and go in my life. Right now, I've had to say goodbye to my old friends and have been trying to make new ones but I find myself guarded around them. More than I've ever been before in my life. Not because I'm incredibly shy, I'm dying to share with these new friends of mine. But... they don't seem to be as invested as I am. They only ask, "What have you been up to? Read any good books or watch any good movies lately?"

Not that I mind those questions, I love talking about all those things but I want something deeper. I want to talk about more than just what's on the very surface. I want to go beyond the exterior shell. To peel back the layers of the mask we all wear. I want to talk about the things we only think about. I want to be open and vulnerable. I want to know that I'm not the only one who thinks or feels.

I want to talk about Jesus.

I want to grow with friends who are aiming towards Heaven.

I want to share the miracles and glories of God and be able to say to them, "Isn't He wonderful?"

I want to learn more about Him together and grow in faith and strength, forming bonds that as God says is not easily broken. {Ecc 4:12}


Thinking back on it now, I've never really had those kinds of earthly friendships. Sure I've had a few where I've shared some of my most inner thoughts but what's the point if you don't spiritually grow from them?

That's the thing, when you add Jesus into the picture everything changes. There's purpose in friendship when you add Christ to the mix. That's what I've been noticing in past and current friendships. The ones I thought would last forever have ended and the ones I'm trying to make now won't peel back let down their guard.

I can't force my expectations on them, but I had hoped we would have a few things in common regarding our lives in Christ. But when I try to bring it up they pull away from me. They're afraid my beliefs won't align with their own.

But I ask, how else are you to find out but to invite one another over to talk about it?

I'm the last person you will ever hear say, "I enjoy being in a good debate." No way! They are exhausting beyond all reason! But I think being able to share our feelings and thoughts on Jesus is a growing experience and doesn't have to be or should be a debate.

"God is good all the time. All the time God is good." ~God's Not Dead

That should always be the point to every topic of discussion or debate. ;) Wouldn't you agree?

As I was waiting in the car the other day, I got to thinking about, wondering, is this how Jesus feels about all of those who reject him as their friend?

How real that question becomes when you yourself have faced with rejection. Like me, Jesus doesn't want to force us into a relationship with him, he wants us to come of our own will and desire. He wants us to invest our time and attention, let down our guards and open up to him too. That's when this song from Pete's Dragon started playing in my head.

"'Cause it's not easy
To find someone who cares
It's not easy
To find magic in pairs
I'm glad I found him
I love him
I won't let him get away
'Cause it's not easy" ~Pete's Dragon

I feel truly fortunate for the gift of friendship Jesus has offered me. He is always by my side, he cares about me, and he wants me around ALL the time! He knows how it feels to be rejected, he knows the pain.

I'm not so sad about not making new friends. Now that I know the pain of rejection I can appreciate my friendship with Christ more than I did before. It is so hard to make friends here on earth, but it's so easy to become friends with Jesus. His arms and heart are open wide to anyone who wants his friendship.

"I no longer call you servants, because a master doesn't confide in his servants. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me." ~John 15:15